Our Sweet "Heart": I just want to SQUEEZE him!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

I just want to SQUEEZE him!!

Seriously this little boy holds my heart in his tiny hands. I can't wait until we get to hold and snuggle him. For right now are making due with holding his hands, rubbing his feet and head, wiping the spittle from around his mouth, and just being close to talk and hum to him.

Tonight he seemed like he was in pain. He kept scrunching his face up like he was about to cry, but due to the tube down his throat, it was silent. I was about in tears as I watched him.

The thing that seemed to comfort him was holding onto my finger. If I tried to move my finger or take it away he tightened his weak grip. I could have stood there and held his little hand all night if he wanted me to. He did the same thing to Jeff and looked at us with his big sad eyes while we talked to him. Seriously enough to break my heart.

While we were talking to and saying goodnight to Maddox tonight his eyes look so wise and full of experience. I felt such a connection to this baby, though he is less than a week old, and I haven't even held him yet, I can't imagine life without him. What a blessing he is. Maddox Revere, you are loved!

Here is a little video of our sweet heart!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkRfAORT41I

8 comments:

AshlieOctober 26, 2009 at 11:48 PM
That is so precious. I am right there with you, and just want to hold and love on this little boy I haven't even met. The video made me cry. Hope you're all doing well. I love you!
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AngelaOctober 27, 2009 at 7:23 AM
Hang in there Alissa! Maddox is one strong spirit. Praying that all goes well with fluid draining and surgery decisions. Who have been your nurses lately? The staff is amazing there!

Blessings,
Angela
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SherwoodsOctober 27, 2009 at 8:27 AM
Oh precious. He knows you guys are there for him! I cried too reading about him not wanting to let you go! Keep up the faith!
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Jake and RachelleOctober 27, 2009 at 10:50 AM
How sweet. I hope you can hold him soon! He is so precious in that video. That would be so hard for him and you both to not be able to hold him. Love ya.
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Erin SOctober 27, 2009 at 11:07 AM
That just melts my heart, he is so precious. He has so many people who are cheering for him and praying for him, and who just love him even though we haven't met him yet! I hope he knows that and feels our love! I hope you can hold him soon! Love you guys!
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Zach 'n' JackOctober 27, 2009 at 3:48 PM
what a beautiful picture - and how my heart aches for you both to get a chance to snuggle! Maddox, you are loved by SO SO many, but most importantly by some amazing parents who have incredibly faith. We love you and are praying for you always!
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LaceyOctober 27, 2009 at 7:43 PM
What a sweet video of him. He is so cute!! It just breaks my heart seeing him attached to so many machines and tubes. And hearing how he would squeeze your finger! Babies should not have to go through such things! He is one lucky little guy to have you guys for parents. Hang in there guys! Luvs!
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The Olsen'sOctober 27, 2009 at 9:11 PM
I am looking forward to my Maddox time!!!
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Maddox Revere Dixon

Welcome to our story of modern day miracles. We have seen first hand the wonders of our Heavenly Father and have been joined with people all over in earnest prayer for a baby boy... our Miracle Maddox.

Maddox was diagnosed prenatally with Aortic Stenosis and Mitral Regurgitation. We found out at 27 weeks gestational age that he had a congenital heart defect. By 29 weeks he was in heart failure and had developed hydrops(fluid under the skin, in his abdomen, and around his heart). The plan was to deliver him at 30 weeks via c-section and after birth attempt to get him stable enough to try to open up his aortic valve. We were also given the option of doing nothing and delivering vaginally once he had passed away, which they thought would be soon. The doctors gave him a less than 1% chance of survival if we tried to intervene. We started planning his funeral. The week we were scheduled to have the c-section we were given the option of flying out to Boston to do a fetal intervention where they would essentially operate on Maddox in the womb. The doctors in Boston weren't even sure that Maddox would be alive once we got off the plane. Two days later we had the fetal intervention where they ballooned open the aortic valve, put a stent in the atrial septum as well as a hole above the stent, and removed some of the fluid in Maddox's belly. Maddox was the 9th baby with his unique heart condition to have undergone this type of intervention. It was successful, and Maddox was delivered at 37 weeks in Boston, where he underwent open heart surgery at 3 weeks of age. At two months of age Maddox came home to Texas. We are now trying to adjust to the new normal: multiple weekly doctors' visits, g-tube feeds, medications administered throughout the day, insurance claims, and including our three other children in the care of their amazing little brother. What an adventure. More surgery is in the Mad-man's future, but he has a future, and for that we will be forever grateful.